Sealed Texts of the Sundered Age
Kawanii and His Inestimable Pastel Leotards
“Kawanii and His Inestimable Pastel Leotards” is one of dozens of musical films made by Beryl Elios during her lifetime.
It is very difficult to determine which performance would have been most popular at the time of release, as all knowledge of Elios and her works is derived from a single freak lode. (“Berrunes”, which describes the rise and fall of the Berrune Empire, is thought to have been the most popular work during Beryl’s lifetime.) However, of the ancient media pieces re-released by Yi-Vinrof’s Third Archaeological Corps since the last Sundering, “Kawanii” is the most popular.
In “Kawanii” the young chocobo hunter Kawanii meets a celestial tailor by the name of Cheryl (played by Elios), who grants him access to speacial leotards which make the wearer “inestimable”. There are a number of these suits, each a different pastel shade and each granting the wearer a different sort of inestimability. The sky blue bodysuit grants Kawanii limitless width; the peach piece grants him infinite height; the rose pink leotards allow him to exist outside of time; the mint leotards make him super-dense; and so on. Kawanii, however, lacks the imagination to comprehend his magnified states of being and can think of no greater use for the supernatural clothing than as hunting adornment. As he attempts to continue his normal activities while wearing the leotards he unwittingly destroys the lives of those around him and, ultimately, his own. Cheryl narrates Kawanii’s misadventures through song.
Famously, the lavender leotards grant Kawanii inestimable attractiveness. It is this segment of the film that is the source for the popular song “We Wish to Ride You”, which was the inspiration for the War of Morals, led by the remaining followers of Jericus Chastity shortly after the last sundering.